To write or not to write—what a silly question for a writer, right? You’d think.
If you’ve kept up with me at all over the last two years, you already know how insane my life has been and how I’ve struggled to work on the manuscripts I started and haven’t finished. I’ve even given myself pep talks on this very blog similar to the one I’m going to give myself today. Maybe this one’ll stick.
Part of my problem is just being unsettled. The house is coming together nicely, but it’s not done yet, and it demands a lot of my attention. And not just that. Big chunks of my time are taken up with the one thing I’m happiest about and love most: family—something that was never an issue when we lived two and a half hours away because we never got to see anyone. So, I’m not about to complain that we get to see them now.
Another part of my problem is that I can’t seem to get into a routine. When MSB was working, I had a routine that involved hours and hours of work time. Now, when I have time in my office, I find myself scrambling to catch up with things other than writing. I wish I could get back into the swing of things.
But it all comes down to this:
I may not have the big blocks of time to write that I used to have, but I do have time. I’ve just been wasting it.
This morning, I again thought of my friends who find time to write against all odds. Kathleen Y’Barbo and Janice Hannah especially amaze me in their ability to make deadlines despite the traumatic events that have occurred in their lives.
Maybe that’s part of my problem. I don’t have deadlines. I don’t have my feet held to the fire where writing is concerned. Meeting contractual obligations for clients isn’t difficult for me, but for the past couple of years, I haven’t been much of a self-motivator where my writing is concerned. This year, I think I’ve written around 1500 words in my work-in-progress. I started it last year, and I’m 8000+ words into it. Since the thing is a novella and not intended to be over 25K words, you’d think I could have finished it in two years.
But this year isn’t over yet. It’s time for me to stop whining, stop wishing I had my old writing schedule and start taking advantage of the time I do have. It’s time for me to move from wish to do.
It’s only 25K words. I’m almost halfway there. If I spend more time writing than belly-aching about it, I bet I could get the first draft done by the end of the month.
I walk in the same place as you do. You are looking for new ways for your same direction. You still have your passion. What you need is to take that first step into “difference”. We don’t like difference, change nor do we believe there really can be a different comfort zone. We do whine to have our old things back. We want it so much that we lose perspective on so many things.
I retired early because my folks needed me. I could not run a one person practice and help two people who needed me more. Now, soon to be two years later, I have no direction. I want to be with kids again and at the same time I am still healing from two rough years.
So impatient am I. I like “do” not “wish”. I accomplish nothing thru pity parties, one after the other. Throw COVID-19 and our turbulent country in the mix and I find it hard to believe get up out of bed some days.
These verses from God’s most powerful word do I choose to say over my life today.
Colossians 3:2 Set your mind and keep it set on things that are above not things that are below.
John 10:10 The devil comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. Jesus came that we might have life and enjoy life, and have it in abundance till it overflows and splashes joy on those all around us.
Jeremiah 29:11 I have thoughts and plans for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you not harm you; to give you a hope and a future.
Proverbs 4:23 Guard your heart diligently, for from it flow the springs of life.
Stay strong and seek our Lord’s strength, sweet friend.
For a friend(s): Please stop for a moment and say this simple prayer: Lord, I lift up Mary Ellis, Allen Graves, Nick Klepin, Judy Williams, Tami & Chuck Baumer, our troops and all of us who have faith in you Lord in this time of crisis in our world. In the name of Jesus who taught us to pray. Amen.
Take care and God bless you, Lori L. Ellis
Great verses, Lori. Thanks! Sorry you’re having a rough time too. I guess a lot of us are.
Even without all the things on your plate, it is easy to fill in writing time with other things. I find myself pushing to get all my chores done first, then I’m too tired to think about writing. I used to make my writing my morning priority right after my devotions. Now, with the hot weather and the need for more exercise for health reasons, I am out the door for a 30 min walk by 8 am. When I come back, I just sit with a cool drink and read emails and look at FB. Then I hop up and do some yard work before it gets too hot, followed by a little rest and then house chores. If I didn’t want an afternoon nap…. But thank you for this post. It reminds me to make writing my priority again, writing during one of my rest periods instead of doing something else. 🙂 I’ve managed to put in over 25,000 words on my new wip this year by hit and miss, but I can do better!
I’ll be praying for a solution to your time issues and energy levels (that’s a biggie). ❤
If it helps, I am looking forward to your newest novella. Keep writing!
I think that’s part of it too. By the time I do my morning chores, I’m too tired to care that I’m wasting away the afternoon hours. I have to stop that because, for me, there are no evening hours. I get up so early in the morning that I’m ready for bed by 7!
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I hear you. My brain shuts down at 5 pm and even though I’m up until 9 pm, there’s no writing or anything else after dinner. So, the day is basically done by then except for reading. So, today, I decided to write before I tired myself out doing chores. I tell myself, write 500 words and then go do chores. I’ll see how that works. 😉
My plans exactly–except I have to reread the ms to remember where I was going with it. 😀
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I hear ya. Sounds very much how I felt after I moved to a new state two years ago. I’m only now getting back in the true swing of things. :p
I was thinking about you just this morning and wondering if you’re writing again. I *really* hope it doesn’t take me another two years to adjust!