Here we go again! God blessed us with a new start-over!
Every year, I write out my not-resolutions resolutions with full knowledge that they’re not going to happen. Oh, I’ll start out like a good girl, bound and determined to lose weight, write three books and four novellas, spend less, love more. Many of these don’t last the first week. Most don’t last the first month. In 2019, thanks to one major crisis after another, the only one I kept was regular Bible study. Not every single day, as I’d planned, but I didn’t miss often either.
This year, the only resolution I’m going to make is to keep my house clean, and I know I’ll be able to do that. We’re moving. This house will have to be ready to show at a moment’s notice, so I must keep it clean. I’ll keep my new house clean simply because it’s new. Until it starts feeling like a home, I’ll bond with it by lovingly decorating, mopping floors, and cleaning windows (when necessary—let’s not get too crazy).
We’re not going to the farm as we wished and planned. One of the things that dawned on us last year with MSB’s frequent trips to the emergency room is that it’s a 45-minute drive from the farm to the nearest hospital. Around seven minutes here, and where we’re moving to, it’s less than five. Although neither one of us consider ourselves old (until I’m trying to get up off the floor or out of a chair I’ve sat in too long), we are older, and something like proximity to hospitals is important.
So, we’re moving back to my hometown and the city where we met 28 years ago. Closer to my soon-to-be 88 year old mother, closer to many of our kids, grandkids, and great-grands, and closer to friends I’ve known since playground days. And only 45 minutes from the farm. What’s a long drive when rushing to the hospital is blink of the eye when going out for a day of fishing or grape-gathering.
I have no idea what other resolution to make and break for 2020. Since MSB retired last April, absolutely nothing of my regular schedule remains. I haven’t written anything but a series of first chapters and sketches of story ideas. 2019 brought only a couple editing jobs. The only thing I got to do more often is read. I shattered my 2019 goal of 20 books. And, going personal, I gained a ton of weight by stress-eating and lost it through stress not-eating, so at the end of the year I weighed the same as at the beginning of the year. I wanted to lose 20 pounds—only 20 more to go!
Having to move means there are a lot of unknowns for 2020. I’ll finally have an office in my new home, but will I ever get to work? Considering my editing business is booked through May, I’ll have to, but will I get to write? I’m still 55K words into a novel I’d intended to finish last year. Every time I thought I could work on it, I had to reread it, but had to quit before actually writing again. Also, a few friends and I have a tentative agreement to do a couple of novella collections together this year. I have chapter one written for one collection and scene one written for another, and I wrote them both early last year. Could it be that God wants me to give up writing? If so, He’ll have to help me. But considering He gave me a business plan around the middle of last year, I doubt He wants me to quit. Maybe just wait awhile.
Will we really have more time with the family, or will everyone be wrapped up in their own lives? We hope to become involved in family activities now that we’re all closer again. We also hope to get more involved in the farm community, where many of MSB’s extended family live. And he mentioned yesterday, we’ll be close to one of the best fishing lakes in Texas, so we just might buy a boat. He knows how much I love to fish! Will we get to?
One of the biggest lessons I learned in 2019 is to not jump ahead of God. Absolutely everything I planned last year bit the dust, from the big move to the farm (by August, we’d already decided to just stay here) to simpler things like driving Mom to her doctor appointments. I’d tell her I was coming, only to discover I couldn’t. As I mentioned, writing became impossible, despite my posts about pushing through the hard times. There is not a moment of the day that’s exclusively mine anymore, so even little personal goals were difficult to achieve.
But God was with us in amazing ways during the year, teaching us to trust Him, to listen for Him, to wait for Him to reveal His will. He got us through my cancer, Mom’s cancer, Billy’s frequent misdiagnoses that complicated an otherwise simple issue, then zapped us the Sunday after Thanksgiving with the “okay” to move—but not to the farm.
Did I tell you the story?
We were sitting with Mom, having already decided we weren’t going to move and knowing how I felt about moving back to my hometown (didn’t wanna, since the area has grown so big), discussing how Mom could continue to live on her own despite her many handicaps, when my sweet husband announced that we needed to move closer to her. I’ve told God before that He needs to use the 2-x-4 method of communication with me. He doesn’t always. He’s often more quiet, that “still, small voice” you’ve read about in the Bible, but this time He made it 2-x-4-to-the-head clear that what MSB said was true and in keeping with His will.
So, that very morning, my hubby and I jumped in the car and drove around several nearby neighborhoods. We fell in love with the first house we found with a for-sale sign in front of it and made a bid on it that afternoon. My wise old man wanted to be sure we weren’t jumping ahead of our Father, so he prayed, “If this isn’t what You want, slam the door.”
Our closing date is set for the end of March.
Which brings me full circle. We’re moving.
Resolution #1: keep house clean. The photographer is coming next Tuesday to take pictures of each room for publication on the Realtor’s website. This place has to be spotless and remain that way until it sells.
There is no Resolution #2.
God bless your new year with health, happiness, and a bushel of loved ones around you.