Not long ago, I wrote in “Southern Grits” that I was having two separate online discussions about grits. My favorite story came from Merlin Frasier, a Sci-Fi author living in London, England. Somehow, I can just picture a Texas oilman doing exactly what Merlin describes. I can’t tell the story better than he can, so, here ya go~~~

I spent the bulk of my working life in the Oil Industry, working for American companies and all over the world. One company I worked for had their head office in London, and on more than one occasion I had to attend meetings there. 

One meeting was with a company CEO who arrived looking like something out of a John Wayne movie: marginally smaller than the statue of Liberty, and dressed like an advert for the TV show Dallas, right down to the Stetson, belt buckle, and cowboy boots. 

My first mistake was to ask him where he was from. He looked me in the eye and said. “Son! Never ask an American man where he’s from. If he’s from Texas, he’ll sure as hell let you know, and if he ain’t, why embarrass the fella?” 

So far so good.

For us in England, it was lunch time, and the meeting was going to start in the hotel restaurant. The guest of honour announced that he had been flying all night, and as far as he was concerned it was breakfast time. 

As I said this was one of the top hotels in London, proud of its reputation of service to the client no matter how weird the request. The headwaiter never even raised an eyebrow as he took the man’s breakfast order with a special note for a side order of grits. 

The meal was duly served and all appetites were satisfied. However, as we were about to adjourn to the conference room, I heard raised voices coming from the head of the table. We looked round. There was our guest of honour holding what looked like the lunch bill in his bear-like hand. 

With a loud Texas twang, he proclaimed, “Listen boy, you come to my hometown and ask fer ten dollars worth of grits, you better bring a truck!”

~~~~~

Retired now, Merlin Frasier has been writing since 2002. You can find out more about him and his work on his website, Merlin Frasier. 

Be sure to take a gander at his books while you’re at it. Sci-Fi fans everywhere are sure to love ’em!