If you’re reading this, it means that I’m doing the worst possible thing involved with Thanksgiving, because believe me, I’d rather be writing an entirely different post than be crowded like a New York commuter in a noon-rush bus.

Yes, I wrote this post ahead of time and based it on the inevitable event of past Thanksgivings: shopping on Black Friday.

I don’t like to shop. Grocery stores. Home improvement centers. The occasional gift shop. That’s the extent of it. So even in the best of conditions, you’re not likely to find me in a mall.

No, not me. I have to be dragged into it on the absolute worst day of the year.

Every year, MSB and I have Thanksgiving in Beaumont with the extended family, a truly wonderful event similar to what every other family has, I reckon. Too much food, too many desserts, kids underfoot, friendly rivalries exploding in front of the ballgames on TV. Not to mention all the obligatory hugs and “My, how you’ve grown!” comments. It’s fun. I love it. And D is a wonderful cook!

D and her sister L had a tradition long before I joined the family, but I doubt it’s unusual. Women across America do very much the same. List who wants what. Check all the catalogs and circulars for sale items. Clip coupons. Compare prices. All this is in preparation for “the day” and begins the moment the ad-fat newspaper hits the sidewalk. Set the alarm for Friday (this year, Macy’s–or is it Penny’s?–promises to open at four a.m.! Oh joy!) Quick shower, slap on make-up, grab the ads and lists and a monster-sized mug of the caffeine of choice, and hit the mall.

The past few years, I’ve been healthy enough to join them. Remember my post about not liking exercise? Forget it. This workout would exhaust Richard Simmons and Jane Fonda–or whoever the modern equivalent of these work-out gurus are. Nobody can power-walk like Team D&L.

And nobody can shop like they can either. I remember trekking across the mall, back and forth, so they could compare this item in one store with the looks-the-same-to-me item in another one. This XXX is the right color, but the other is made better, but A wanted specifically this brand–but she’ll get over it, right? Which has the best price? Do we have a coupon?

I’ve learned a lot about shopping from these two, but more importantly, I’ve learned a lot about sisters and family from them.  I may as well have been an only child when I was growing up, so watching the dynamics between sisters is a treat. And these two are the “best-of-friends” kind of sisters. I’m lucky they’ve included me into their loop. And, by the end of the day, I’ll be in considerably better shape–which will be spoiled by sore muscles tomorrow.

But next comes MSB and my annual hunting trip. Up-before-dawn for this is much better than up-before-dawn at a germ factory. I can’t wait.

So, you won’t be hearing from me next week. Unless I get injured at the mall . . .