777 Peppermint Place is supposed to be a site of fun, laughter, reflection, and devotion. Says so right in the sidebar. Lately things have been so dark and depressing, I had to go on a manhunt for my humor. It just flat disappeared. Nowhere to be found.
The hunt started in the kitchen where, after a three week absence, I found bugs in my pantry. Bugs! I had to clean everything out, toss packages of starchy things favored by these pests, stink the house up with bug spray, and restack all the goods (fewer now) onto the shelves.
Of course, checking out the nearly-empty fridge didn’t help. It’s amazing where fuzz can grow.
Okay–this is just gross.
On to the bedroom where I caught the dust bunnies doin’ the Cotton-Eyed Joe under the bed–and around the bed, and toward the hall. They were even dancing behind the doors. At one time, they were fairly easy to ignore. I named the few I had and called them pets not to be sacrificed to that evil god, the vacuum cleaner. And this is the thanks I get.
Let’s not forget the inch-thick dust on the furniture, the size-twelve footprints on the tile, the fur coating the upholstery, or the laundry monster large enough to drain the city’s entire water source.
We won’t even discuss the bathroom.
I’ve made dents in my to-do list, but the problem with the housecleaning list is that it never ends. There is no satisfaction for a job well done when ya gotta do it again within fifteen minutes. Because sure as shootin’, as soon as you announce yourself finished, you notice something you’ve missed. Or hubby comes and wants something else done. Or gremlins sneak in and wreck the place.
Really. What’s a girl to do?
If anyone has a lead on the whereabouts of my humor, call the hotline: 1 936 777 TIPS. Reward offered.