According to Duane Scott’s instructions for “Pleasantly Disturbed Thursdays,” blog posts are supposed to be about random thoughts that may or may not connect. Since I’ve been up since two a.m., I’m not guaranteeing a connection.
I don’t know why I got up at two, other than the fact that my brain kicked in. I woke up worried that I won’t be able to sell my novel when it comes out because I’m not sure I can market it effectively, and I may as well quit writing because if I can’t market my books, I’m wasting my time–and money. I’ve spent quite a bit on a new computer and printer, two ACFW trips (one of which I didn’t get to go on and the other hasn’t happened yet), and how-to books–tons of writing-related stuff that may as well sit on the shelf because according to my groggy brain, I won’t be able to market my book.
Besides I like editing better. Or so I told myself as the clock registered 2:30. But that thought reminded me that I have two editing jobs, three submissions, and one critique that I’m behind on because my head can’t decide whether I need to quit writing, and I’ve spent the past three days trying to get back into my WIP, which is driving me nuts because it’s a wonderful idea that stalled and I can’t kick it back into gear. It’s been that way for months, so really, why don’t I just go ahead and hit the delete button and sell the ol’ junker for scrap metal?
See how my mind works in the wee hours of the morning? Fast, furious, nonsensical, and negative thoughts rammed together in run-on sentences. And I call myself a professional. Hmph!
Have you ever watched Chopped on the Food Network? It’s a contest among four chefs in which each round holds a mystery basket of ingredients they’re supposed to make into an appetizer, an entree, or a dessert. After each round, one of the chefs gets “chopped” if his food doesn’t please a panel of judges. The mystery basket holds some of the most bizarre ingredients known to man. One time, the chefs had to make an entree out of octopus, duck, and animal crackers.
But Chopped shows how my mind is when I wake up some ridiculous time during the night. A mystery basket that opens on its own and reveals a series of thoughts that just don’t go well together–and if dwelt upon for long would cause indigestion.
I must be waking up a bit, because my random thoughts are making a connection.