877 Hush Now! (PDT #1)

Duane Scott has begun a blog carnival called Pleasantly Disturbed Thursdays from his blog, appropriately named “Duane Scott.” He says, “write down a bunch of random thoughts you can’t get out of your head, throw them in a post that doesn’t even need to make sense, and link them over here!”

Last Thursday, Duane wrote a memory from his childhood, something I wanted to do, but I can’t. I can’t seem to organize my mind. Really. These days, having a bunch of random thoughts that don’t make sense is a standard state of affairs. At this particular moment, I blame MSB and J.G. Wentworth.

It’s my money and I want it NOW!

Call J.G. Wentworth, 877-CASH-NOW!!!!

I’ve heard one or the other commercial four times in the past hour and I don’t know how many times already today, and I’m sick of ’em! MSB has a death grip on the remote. I can’t change the channel to some more appealing commercials dealing with, for instance, women’s overactive bladders or that disgusting muffin-top blooming over jeans so tight no blood can reach the legs–or even ads from the Ka-Ching! Law Firm (not board certified in any state to practice any kind of law, but hey–we try). Nor can I hit the mute button or simply turn that one-eyed monster over there off.

“It’ll be over in a second,” Hubby says. “Can’t you just put up with it?”

“Why should I have to? ‘Mute’ is right there under the volume button.”

“Yeah, but I like to watch that guy with the nose. You know–the one that doesn’t have a bridge? It goes from his forehead to his cheeks with no bridge, just a couple of cock-eyed wrinkles.”

“Oh, good grief. You don’t need sound to watch him. Just shut him up!”

By the time the commercial is over, a crease the size of the Panama Canal is firmly entrenched between my eyes.

Noises get to me. Obnoxious music makes me nuts. Repetition sends me climbing the walls. And those Wentworth commercials have all of that and then some. They’re the absolute worst.

No, wait–the old Vonage commercials. Oh, my stars!!! How I hated that idiotic song!

Or that analgesic–I don’t remember what it’s called–applied directly to the forehead!

Or the woman screaming on the Publishers’ Clearing House commercial.

Or pick any Billy Mays commercial (may he rest in peace) or any of the equivalents out there. Do they really have to shout at us?

Or that NFL Sunday Ticket commercial from Direct TV with the blond who has that awful fake-Texas accent. Couldn’t they have just hired someone with a real Texas accent? Believe me, it would sound just as strange.

I’ve made it a point to never use a product that is introduced in a commercial that makes me nuts. Vengeful, I know, but Madison Avenue will just have to deal with it. Maybe my solitary protest will actually make them come up with something more pleasant. (And maybe the cow really will jump over the moon.)

I used to have my own remote to the TV. He had his, I had mine–but he didn’t know it. Loved it. I could shut that blasted TV up whenever I wanted, and by the time he figured out what was going on, the nerve-jangling commercial was over. Those were the good old days.

Hmm. I sound like a shrew. I’ve gone over the edge from “pleasantly disturbed” to “certifiable.”

Maybe I’ve discovered the actual reason why I’m Crabby.

About Linda W. Yezak

Author/Freelance Editor/Speaker (writing and editing topics).
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17 Responses to 877 Hush Now! (PDT #1)

  1. Sally Bishop says:

    Girl, you are singing my song. Those commercials can take you from disturbed to certifiable and most definately into crabby! I share the same husband component, he dosen’t seem to notice they are shouting and I can hear them across the house. I like your idea of two remotes, I’ll have to look into that.

    Take comfort in knowing if you land in the looney bin there is a ward just for us. The common rooms have NO TVs.

    Like

  2. Linda Yezak says:

    GIGGLE!!! Sally, you are such a blessing to me! Thanks for welcoming me into the looney bin!

    Like

  3. K.M. Weiland says:

    Ha! “Couldn’t they just hire someone with a real Texas accent” – love it! 😆

    Like

    • Linda Yezak says:

      It’s true! Even though we aren’t quite as ludicrous as what they present on TV, we have a definite accent. Personally, I think it’s a great accent, but I’m biased.

      Like

  4. Wendy says:

    Apply to the forehead? Yeah, I’d rather apply a rubber mallet to my forehead, thanks. Stupid commercials. My husband likes to turn them up to make sure I can hear them, even if I’m in another room.

    Like

  5. HisFireFly says:

    Not certifiable.. just a perfectly lovely rant!

    Like

    • Linda Yezak says:

      Giggle! I’m glad you think so!

      I went by your blog today–I love the banner and the verse!–and your photography! But Blogspot was being fussy and wouldn’t accept my comment. It does that sometimes.

      Blessings!

      Like

  6. ~Brenda says:

    Hmm. I kinda like the Vonage song. I think it’s catchy. :)) Billy May? Not so much. RIP!

    Like

    • Linda Yezak says:

      Brenda, it was cute when it first came out, but it’s one of those songs that get in your head and won’t go away. Like the song with the ad that starts, “This is Bob. . . ” (if you don’t know who Bob is yet, consider yourself fortunate!)

      Like

  7. Duane Scott says:

    Hey, I like you disturbed. FYI: I’m the same way!!!! I get all disturbed about little annoyances. Right now, the AC is humming and it’s bugging the tar outta me!

    You are very good at this!

    Like

    • Linda Yezak says:

      Thanks, Duane–I think: I’m very good at being disturbed?! Actually, I’m the expert 😀

      I’m kiddin’.

      Saw the pics on FB from your trip. Color me jealous!!!

      Like

  8. Annie says:

    Oh I LOVED THIS!!!! Funny, because I can’t ever find a channel to watch, constantly surfing which drives my hubby NUTS!!! Which leads me more often than not to hibernate in my room with a good book!!

    Like

    • Linda Yezak says:

      Annie, if you were here, I’d hug you! I can’t believe a woman has control of the remote-and *surfs* with it! Among all my female friends, the complaint goes the other way around.

      But a good book can always win over TV (except when Castle is on).

      Like

  9. Wendy says:

    Just thought you should know that you got the thanks/blame for my blog post today. I’m thinking that I’m leaning more toward blame… ;o)

    Like

  10. Hysterical! I do have to say I love the Geico commercials. Like the latest one with the ex-drill sergeant therapist. Crybaby. And the ones for Progressive. I don’t get tired of watching any of them.

    But don’t get me started on those male enhancement ones that show over and over even during prime time.

    Like

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