I did it. I walked right in to the AT&T store like I knew what I was doing and stared at the phone display. Which was really all I could do–stare. At the sight of all those phones and feature lists, my brain turned into a bowlful of buttered oatmeal and simply shut down.
Lucky for me, my mouth still worked (which shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone who knows me). A saleslady, LaWanda, asked what she could do for me.
“Can you bring me into the 21st Century?”
“Sure I can,” she said with a confidence worn by youth like a royal ermine robe. “You do have a phone, don’t you?”
That brought my brain back into gear. “Of course I do. I made it to the 20th Century fine–I just need to move up a decade or so.”
I told her what features I wanted from a phone, and she pointed out a couple of popular models, telling me the difference between the two.
“This one can beep-beep, wonka-wonka, and gobbledigook. This one can only beep-beep and wonka-wonka.” Then she grabbed another one. “This is a popular one, too. It can beep-beep, wonka-wonka, gobbledigook, and has a larger screen!”
Larger screen. I understood that. “I want that one.”
At that moment, she pulled out her own phone and compared the one I just fell in love with to hers. “Of course, this one can do the same things as the others, and it has a large screen, and it can honk-honk!”
Whatever the “honk-honk” was, I wanted it. Then she told me how much her model cost.
“Oh,” I said.
At this point, LaWanda used a sales technique I’d used in the ’70s when I worked at a jewelry store. I remembered it long after I got home with my new treasure. She kept her phone in sight and continued to praise the abilities of the less expensive one.
Her phone was dangling in my mind like a sapphire on a serpentine chain. “So, how does this [sorry cheap thing] compare to your [wonderful, magical jewel of technology]?”
“Oh, mine has bling-bling, bling-bling, and this one doesn’t. But this one is still a good model.”
Nuh-uh. I wanted the bling.
Sold! The lady bought a BlackBerry!
LaWanda spent the next thirty minutes showing me the features and giving me a brief tutorial. And my brain actually registered some of the things she said. Really, I amaze myself sometimes.
Several years into it, and this blog still refuses to be categorized. It's eclectic and includes everything from writing posts to snippets from my ordinary life. 
Linda W. Yezak 
Again, congratulations. My BlackBerry has a full keyboard, but yours is a newer model, so it must wicka-wicka! 🙂
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Giggle! I’m sure it has a wicka-wicka feature–I just have to find it. 😀
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What I like best…I can check email and FB—or send an email, update FB, etc, while I’m at the grocery store (or where ever I happen to be that’s not near my desktop computer.) Love the portability. Awesome.
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I went to town with it yesterday so it could download Facebook, then FB told me I had to approve my phone from my computer (which was at home) before it would finishing loading onto my Blackberry. I’ll love the portability, too, whenever I can get all these wrinkles ironed out!
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Ha! Okay, that just rocked my morning. Thanks for the laugh. 😆 You’ll do fine. I don’t have a Blackberry, but I love my iTouch. You’ll love it too, once you get the hang of it.
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Okay–what’s an iTouch? Somebody on Twitter the other day told me that comparing iPods with Blackberries was like comparing apples and Picassos. She told me I was to compare iPhones with Blackberries. And I thought I understood.
Now you’re bringing up iTouch???
Tell the dadburned inventors and geeks to slow down! All this new stuff is making my head spin!!!
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Holy cow! You’re barns and pastures ahead of me, my friend.
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How funny, Shaddy! You have advanced as far as the wheel, right?! 😀
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The last time we renewed our phone plan was a nightmare.
Dennis is easy. Simple. Cheap. As in whatever comes free with the plan.
Me–I wander around the store for hours. I want the bling bling with the honk honk money.
I end up getting frustrated and snippy.
I settled for a flip phone that will get me to FB and email and take pictures and pinch my hand if I snap it closed too quickly–like this morning.
I don’t use half the features. But Gracee figured out how to order game subscriptions!
Next time–in November–I’m joining the big league. Money no object.
Maybe.
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Giggle!!! You go girl!!!
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Congrats! When I worked at the magazine, I bought my hubby an iPhone for his birthday. Then he bought me and daughter Blackberries. 🙂 We’re all having fun!
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Hi Jess, thanks for stopping by! Which do y’all like best? The iPhone or the Blackberries?
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I loved the post, Linda. I have a blackberry, and I’m wanting an even better one next month when I’m due for an upgrade.
Sandra Robbins
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I’m really learning to love mine. I still have to figure out a lot of stuff. I’ll probably have it down pat by the time it becomes obsolete!
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I love my Blackberry Tour. I’m sure you’ll love it. I like being able to surf the net and open docs with it. So many great apps, too…
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Mine’s a Blackberry Bold. Actually, it was knowing you and your wife were on vacation and you could still get emails that made me want one. I’d see that little Blackberry note at the bottom of your emails and think, “That’s tons better than hauling around my laptop!”
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You got yourself a reader. I read your most recent 2 post (Normally, I do 5) and I knew I wanted more.
Good thing you are in the 21st century. And your writing is hilarious and honest. I like it. I’ve seen you around my “hood” once in a while, and I’m ashamed it took me this long to discover you.
Until next time!
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Thank you, Duane! This blog is terribly ecclectic. There’s no telling what you’ll find when you come, but I hope you’ll like it!
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