I spent from last Wednesday through Saturday with Mom. It’s possible that some of my readers don’t know what this means, don’t know I’m on a diet or haven’t yet had enough coffee to connect those two points, so let me enlighten you: I can gain five pounds just breathing the air in Mom’s house.
As I’ve said before, it’s not because she cooks–her oven holds magazines and calendars and things she wants to hide from the housekeeper. No, I gain weight because of all the molecules of pizzas past floating in the air. Ghosts of double meat cheeseburgers with bacon and spicy curly fries. Fiesta-inducing burritos, tamales and fajitas. Foot long hot dogs with chili and cheese and onions, and equally nourishing sides of tater tots swimming in processed cheese.
It’s a junk food paradise, and I’m the original junk food junkie.
But pat me on the back and applaud my success, ladies and gentlemen: I lost two pounds last week!
That brings me to a grand total of four so far this month. Don’t ask me how. Maybe some of the things I’ve crammed in my face are just taking their time attaching to my thighs and registering on the scale. One of MSB and my friends snuck some donuts into the truck last week. Two dozen. A dozen for each of us! I did my part not to let mine go to waste, although I should’ve concentrated on not letting them go to waist (har-de-har-har).
Not only that, the wonderful folks of IHOP put up a restaurant right close to Mom’s house. Pancakes–with way too much butter and enough syrup to host the America’s Cup competition.
But I must’ve exercised enough (yes, I exercised. Walking counts as exercise) to work off all those useless calories and keep only the ones which are approved by the AMA and the food police.
Mom had enough energy this visit to want to do something different. Something she hadn’t done in quite a while. Something informative, educational and fun.
She wanted to go to the grocery store and shop the frozen food section.
Thank our Heavenly Father above for those little electric carts. We went up and down the aisles looking for nutritious foods for her to zap in the microwave, did a ring around the produce section (where she actually bought fresh fruit. Give the lady a hand, folks!), through the bakery and out again in just under one hour and forty-five minutes. Let’s just say she had a lot of exploring to do. Of course, she got a kick out of driving the scooter too since she hasn’t driven her car in years.
All in all, I’m proud of both of us. I didn’t meet all my resolutions last week–big news, huh?–but I still have to give myself a C+ for dropping two pounds in the most adverse of situations.
(Flickr photo by the punch pizza)